5-Second Rule: The Variables and some Yoga
As I begin my quest to uncover the formula which guides all calculations on how long food can be on the ground before it becomes tainted, I believe the first step is to establish the correct variables. These variables will be the framework which one can use to answer the eternal question, "hey, that piece of pizza fell face up on a wood floor and it took me 6.4 seconds to pick it up, am i going to be alive tomorrow if i eat this??"
When evaluating this painful situation you must first rank your food in each of these categories on the 0-10 scale:
Perishability - If the item fell on a pristine surface would the food still be edible?
(0: Ice Cream, 10: Unopened box of Pizza Bagel, a personal fav)
Surface - How gross is the surface which the food fell on?
(0: Dirt, 10: a floor cleaned by Raphaela)
Brush Off Factor - If you pick up the item after it has fallen on the floor, how closely can you restore the food to its previously glory by "brushing it off."
(0: Chewed Gum, 10: Apple, for all you health concious readers)
Aesthetic Changes - How much does the appearance of the food change after the accident?
(0: Sandwich which fell apart, 10: Slice of pizza which landed face up)
Hunger - How badly do you want to eat the food which has now been on the floor?
(0: Trapped in a desert and haven't eaten for weeks; 10: Just finished a Chicken Ziti roll with ranch from NYPD)
Tomorrow: The Equation...
Prior to the scription of this post, I had an engaging discussion with a portly friend of mine about dieting. During this pow-wow he revealed that he was trying to drop a few "lbs" by taking a few "spinning" and "yoga" classes at a local gym. I was perplexed! Is it acceptable for men to take classes at a gym with women? Spinning and yoga to boot!! Blog, is it really time for me to put away my Billy Blank Tae-bo tape and join the real world? Is my VCR about the join my mini-disc player, Sega CD, and Apple II GS in the back of my closet?? I guess times are changing.
P.S: If anyone has any Sega CD games, send em my way. wink.
When evaluating this painful situation you must first rank your food in each of these categories on the 0-10 scale:
Perishability - If the item fell on a pristine surface would the food still be edible?
(0: Ice Cream, 10: Unopened box of Pizza Bagel, a personal fav)
Surface - How gross is the surface which the food fell on?
(0: Dirt, 10: a floor cleaned by Raphaela)
Brush Off Factor - If you pick up the item after it has fallen on the floor, how closely can you restore the food to its previously glory by "brushing it off."
(0: Chewed Gum, 10: Apple, for all you health concious readers)
Aesthetic Changes - How much does the appearance of the food change after the accident?
(0: Sandwich which fell apart, 10: Slice of pizza which landed face up)
Hunger - How badly do you want to eat the food which has now been on the floor?
(0: Trapped in a desert and haven't eaten for weeks; 10: Just finished a Chicken Ziti roll with ranch from NYPD)
Tomorrow: The Equation...
Prior to the scription of this post, I had an engaging discussion with a portly friend of mine about dieting. During this pow-wow he revealed that he was trying to drop a few "lbs" by taking a few "spinning" and "yoga" classes at a local gym. I was perplexed! Is it acceptable for men to take classes at a gym with women? Spinning and yoga to boot!! Blog, is it really time for me to put away my Billy Blank Tae-bo tape and join the real world? Is my VCR about the join my mini-disc player, Sega CD, and Apple II GS in the back of my closet?? I guess times are changing.
P.S: If anyone has any Sega CD games, send em my way. wink.
posted by jlnyc212 at 3:21 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home