Apology

Hi Blog, I must apologize for neglecting you while I had a test and celebrated the inspirational holiday of rosh hashanah (heard two sermons). This will change tomorrow. I had the best monthurs ever, Monday-Thursday...i'll explain.

-Justin

Text Messages From a Broad

Broad: I have a ? Where is Bubble Lounge
Guy: West Broadway between Franklin and White
Broad: Thanks how are you sorry i was so weird the other day i was on drugs I'm not usually like that
Guy: (no response)

Broad (24 Hours later): I WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU.
Guy: Laaaate.

A Plan / DVR Update

I was looking in the mirror and its become apparent that I haven't shaven in weeks. The last time this happened was during my junior year finals, but this year there is no reason for it except to support my team. I remember looking in the mirror a forenight in the hither, that if the Yankees kept playing well, I wouldn't shave until they were out of the playoffs race. Well Blog, 15 days later and I am now the quintessential overzealous fan. I can't even help myself, I will not shave until the playoffs. Blog, I ask you: if los jankees do make the playoffs, when can I shave? I am a man of loyalty but this is getting really irritating. Every morning my closest cohort tells me that today is "the day." You know, the day where I am supposed to get past that point of irritation and bask in the softness of beard heaven.

Does this beard heaven actually exist? Is today "the day"?


In other news, a DVR was installed in my room yesterday.

After 24hrs, here is my list of season passes:
Family Guy
Lost
Modern Marvels
My Super Sweet 16
Bobby Brown Reality Show
Murphy Brown

Any Suggestions?

ed note: all hbo shows are on demand so no need for a season pass

Jumping the Shark

About to be popular: Popping your collar "in"; T-Shirt to the bar

Jumped the Shark: Watching poker on TV; Headbands to the bar (but seriously, who is still doing that)

Scorekeepers Freak-Out

We returned from the Tuesday night watering hole (the scene) at 2:21am. By 2:23 the freak-out began.

Do girls like me, what is going on?

I swear this is compelling.

Happiness Ratio

The Yankees are currently losing 13-8. I am too depressed to blog.

Recent Developments in Speech

I have cut the word "very" out of my spoken vocabulary and replaced it with "way." In addition, I am attempting to make the word "glorious" an accepted term for describing a good-looking chick.

Ex: That girl is really glorious, I hope I can fancy her number.

A Persistant Caller

Location: My bed

9:00am: My 'Whoomp There It Is' ringtone goes off. Even before I roll over to glance at the caller ID which flashes "Private Call," I knew it was my mother. She is the greatest mother in the world and I love her, but she calls me relentlessly to tell me the the most superfluous things about what's going on at home. I press silent and go back to bed. 9:30am another private call; followed by successive calls at 9:35 and 10:00am. After the 4th call I surmise that she might have something of paramount to tell me, so I vow to pick up the next one.

10:34am: The moment of truth has arrived, private call #5.

"Hello" I say in a sleepy, but perplexed voice. "Is anything wrong?"
"Hey Just, nothing is wrong" she replys, "but Raphaela is going to the supermarket later; is there anything you want her to get to have in the house for when you come home in a few weeks?"

10:35am: My phone lay shattered on the floor.


Tuesday: A trip to the Cingular store

Whammy!

I think I was about to enter stage 1 of REM sleep when my television began blaring a re-run of the popular game show "Press Your Luck." It's 4am and someone just got a whammy; I've never been so excited.

Blog freak-outs

A roommate of mine known for freaking out, just freaked out on me for telling him that I updated my blog. But he then freaked out when he "thought" he saw a moth. Should I feel bad?

5-Second Rule: The Variables and some Yoga

As I begin my quest to uncover the formula which guides all calculations on how long food can be on the ground before it becomes tainted, I believe the first step is to establish the correct variables. These variables will be the framework which one can use to answer the eternal question, "hey, that piece of pizza fell face up on a wood floor and it took me 6.4 seconds to pick it up, am i going to be alive tomorrow if i eat this??"

When evaluating this painful situation you must first rank your food in each of these categories on the 0-10 scale:

Perishability - If the item fell on a pristine surface would the food still be edible?
(0: Ice Cream, 10: Unopened box of Pizza Bagel, a personal fav)

Surface - How gross is the surface which the food fell on?
(0: Dirt, 10: a floor cleaned by Raphaela)

Brush Off Factor - If you pick up the item after it has fallen on the floor, how closely can you restore the food to its previously glory by "brushing it off."
(0: Chewed Gum, 10: Apple, for all you health concious readers)

Aesthetic Changes - How much does the appearance of the food change after the accident?
(0: Sandwich which fell apart, 10: Slice of pizza which landed face up)

Hunger - How badly do you want to eat the food which has now been on the floor?
(0: Trapped in a desert and haven't eaten for weeks; 10: Just finished a Chicken Ziti roll with ranch from NYPD)

Tomorrow: The Equation...


Prior to the scription of this post, I had an engaging discussion with a portly friend of mine about dieting. During this pow-wow he revealed that he was trying to drop a few "lbs" by taking a few "spinning" and "yoga" classes at a local gym. I was perplexed! Is it acceptable for men to take classes at a gym with women? Spinning and yoga to boot!! Blog, is it really time for me to put away my Billy Blank Tae-bo tape and join the real world? Is my VCR about the join my mini-disc player, Sega CD, and Apple II GS in the back of my closet?? I guess times are changing.

P.S: If anyone has any Sega CD games, send em my way. wink.

Part 2...and a riddle!

My earlier sessh was cut short due to a "chicken de-light" from Mr. Greeks, but I assure you, my time away was not filled with joyous laughter and ranch dressing. My closest companion informed me that she "DHL'ed" me a gift which I am to recieve after this fin de semana. (sidenote: I never believed fed-ex would relinquish its title as the "in" package carrier, is this really happening, Blog??!?) In apropos to the present, she would not tell me what to expect, but I managed to wrest a few ominous hints. These hints have thrown me for a loop, so I have come to you for help.
1. The package is large, but not heavy
2. The item is soft, but you would not want to cuddle with it (yeah, I said it)
3. The item contains the letters i,e,t,r
4. It is something you may find in any room of the house, but it would be weird if it were taken out of its place

My initial guesses:
1. Slippers
2. Bathrobe
3. Beach ball, possibly already inflated.

I'll keep you abreast of any new information or postulations. Any thoughts?!?

Is there a time limit to post one blog?

Let's hope not because a cohort of mine has interrupted this blogging session, so I can be a "come with guy" on a food run. Brb Blog!

A Special Thanks to Mariah

I was a little unsure of the subject matter which I had chosen for my first post, but as I attempted to set my alarm for an ill finance group meeting which I have to get up for at 11am!!, I inadvertently turned on the radio. Within a split-second, Mariah Carey's hit-single "Hero" circa 1993, came blaring out of the "Dream Machine" radio speakers which lay next to my bed. Was this a...dream'?!? or does a Hero really lie in me, Blog?

I guess only time will tell.

Pre-Tomorrow Blog Checklist:
1. Uncover scientific evidence behind the "5-Second Rule"
2. Blog about it